As Geelong 70.3 gets closer and the nerves really start to kick in I have taken some time to reflect on the last 3 months and how much I have achieved since starting my return to triathlon journey with Holistic Endurance
Having goals/dreams is great but if you want to make them a reality then you
- need to have a plan on how to achieve those goals/dreams
- need to be actively working towards those goals/dreams.
I have always been an excellent dreamer and in the past I have been able to effectively achieve my goals but in more recent times I have sort of fell of the aspiration wagon and have found myself not only struggling to come up with goals but then struggling to find the motivation to work for them.
Motivation in the past seemed to have come effortlessly to me but these days I have to work really hard at it, every day. I am the worst culprit for comparison, not that I compare myself to others but I have been robbing myself of my own happiness by comparing myself from where I am at now to where I was 2+ years ago. For a lot of people comparing your present self to your past self wouldn’t be a terrible thing. But in my case and I am sure many others out there, you feel like you have gone somewhat backwards.
So for me now what I am working on is not so much forgetting who I was (as an athlete) in the past, but just accepting that THAT IS IN THE PAST and right now it is irrelevant to where I am now. If I am going to compare then I should only be comparing where I am now to where I was 3 months ago, not 3 years. Because just 3 months ago I was lost and miserable and the most unhappiest and unhealthiest I have been in my life but now, I have not only found some direction in my life but I am healthier and happier and on the well on the road to better things.
I have triathlon and Holistic Endurance to thank for helping me find my happiness.
A week ago I competed in a local sprint distance triathlon, my first triathlon in 12 months. I was the heaviest and most unfit I have ever been so there were no surprises that it was my slowest race to date. I NEVER would have imagined that it would the THE MOST wonderful, amazing and greatest day I could have asked for.
I went into that race with 2 intentions
- To see where I am so as to give me an idea of what goals to set for Geelong 70.3
- To how how my dodgy left leg handled a triathlon (read about that here and here)
But I ended up getting so much more out of that race. I came away with more determination to succeed than ever before; not only in sport but in life.
I have fallen completely in love with triathlon AND life all over again, I just feel so freaking happy to be where I am. I may not be as fast as I used to be and that has been something that has really been getting me down lately, but after today I can honestly say that I’m absolutely ok with where I am at right now because I am my own work in progress and who I was doesn’t have anything on who I am or who I will become.
I now know exactly where I am at and what kind of realistic physical and mental goals to set for Geelong. I am absolutely over the moon to have had ZERO pain whatsoever in my dodgy leg the entire race. I really couldn’t have asked for a better day!
Special thanks go to Coach Jackie and Coach Katee for getting me back up on my feet again both emotionally and physically.
So as you can imagine, going into Geelong 70.3 next weekend is ridiculously scary for me and I would be lying if I didn’t say I had considered chickening out. But then I try to remember that this is just the beginning. This is only the first big race in my new journey. And I will try to keep telling myself that no one actually cares about how fast or how slow I go more than I do. I am scared but I am excited and I can’t wait to share with you all how it next weekend goes!
Read Courtney’s Journey to Geelong from the beginning here.